I Have Seen The Future

It was a perfect day for tennis
Dad and I were both inspired
After watching Roger Federer make quick work of Lleyton Hewitt
Our ground strokes were consistent, and powerful beyond logic
And in the first set I was serving like someone who's had lessons
There was flow, there was connection
The toss was slightly forward
My body leaning in anticipation of the volley
And in the second before contact
When I was in mid-swing, someone yelled FORE!

The ball limped through the air, hit the bottom of the net
Three young men on bikes were on the other side of the fence
I said 'That was very clever, but actually we're playing tennis'
'Fuck you', he retorted
I said, 'That's very original'
He said, 'That's very original'
And I asked him if he realized
That he was mocking me mocking him

I suppose this was confusing, because he shouted at my Dad next
He said 'You look like Santa', and then he said 'Nice hat'
And though Dad's burgundy visor might be little bit outdated
It was still a pretty lame insult, and clearly dad and I were winning
I told them they were boring, I told them they were losers
I said, 'Go find a hobby- you have no inner lives'

I have seen the future
And I don't know what to blame
So I will wish it all the best and continue with my game
I flirted with the thought that I was unfairly intolerant
That they were just at loose ends and naturally exuberant
Like all young men, showing off, full of bluff and bluster
Practicing for a life in sales
I thought back to my own reckless youthful escapades
Bushwhacking through the Devonian Gardens
Sneaking onto the Indian Reserve and taunting free range cattle
Belching on crowded buses, throwing crabapples at cars
Downing a 26er of rum and going to the Mormon dances
Kicking the soap dispensers off the bathroom walls
Sticking the DJs mix tapes down the front of our pants
I thought 'Who wasn't a little asshole?'

They hung out by the hockey rink, yelling incomprehensibly
They made 3 dirty snowballs, came back and threw them at us
Their language became fouler, and sexually suggestive
They would do sick things to our family members
And Dad and I were a couple
Dad said 'Run along boys, your Mommy's calling you for dinner'
They responded to his accent by calling him a border jumper
'Go back to where you came from you fucking immigrant'
Dad said 'I imagine things have changed quite a bit in Frankfurt since 1955'

I approached them very calmly and asked them in all earnestness
'What makes you want to come here and antagonize two strangers
Who are minding their own business and just trying to play some tennis?'
And after a short pause, the red faced ringleader said
'Because it's funny'- and then they rode off

Dad said with chagrin; 'They must have learned that from their parents'
I said 'Don't forget Dad, we are in Calgary South'
And though we carried on, it was clear we were distracted
Both of us fantasizing about clubbing them with our racquets
Dad believes in justice, and I believe in hell
And we believe that reckoning comes down within ourselves


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